Dance On Our Graves
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: "Bye mama..." He whispered. He would miss them terribly but he was certain, so very certain, that this was where he should go. - a Series through which a story of four people unfold and how it shapes those caught in the crossfire.. .Mello/Matt later on.
1. Start

**Suggested Listening**: Dance On Our Graves **by** Paper Route

_"The Devil takes my hand, and says 'Child come with me"_ - Paper Route

**-Step-**

The small child, with blond hair cut short, yet too long for a boy, stared with wide inquisitive eyes and a suspicion that went beyond his years. He sniffled, the consequences of crying finally making their appearance, and hesitated.

"Let's go." A hand was held out to him again, and Mihael knew that it would be the last offer. Whether or not the raven haired man would send him to heaven with his mama and papa should he not accept was yet to be seen, but that was not the deciding factor.

Those eyes. So very red, ensnared him. Could he obtain eyes like that? Were those eyes special? Magical?

With determination, he grasped the blood sticky fingers of the strangers hand. The man let out a startling cackle, enough to make him jump, and his hand was held tight so he could not escape.

He only looked back once, at the bodies, dismembered and bled out, on the floor of his living-room.

"Bye mama..." He whispered. He would miss them terribly but he was certain, so very certain, that this was where he should go.

**-Forward-**

**AN: **So this originally started off as a mini drabble to the song "Dance on our grave", the specific lyrics are above. It now has 3 parts and the beginnings of an idea for it to be quite long chapter wise. I do not think the chapters will be long as I write them as quickwrites/drabbles. But I can promise an interesting story :D

I love the idea of a "Mello" shaped and crafted by B, who in essence, is really the only one who can understand him. I always wondered if, from that, Mello's temper might be more controlled and perhaps, deadly. But enough of that. I will post the next part later today, and is longer. Why not now? I'm off for some foooooood now.

**Thoughts?**


	2. First

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

-First-

Mihael shook his head vehemently, much to the raven haired mans annoyance. The boy had taken his hand, and in doing so signed himself over. He was supposed to listen and act according to his wishes. Which, as the blond child backed away from the body, made the situation all the more frustrating.

"They say that a pigs flesh is closest to a humans," he tried again, his tone forcibly softer as he beckoned the child. He had such a strange and beautiful name, delicate and fitting for him. That, among other factors, was why he had taken the child instead of ending him when his life was flickering above his head.

"But," Beyond grinned widely as Mihael came close enough for him to grab and pull close, forcing his gaze ahead, "I say why use second rate materials when you can have the real thing?" He cackled loudly as Mihael let out a small scream, his hand forcibly guided to stroke the pale, cold flesh of the body on the table.

Even after jerking away, Mihael's small shaking body seeked protection against Beyond. Despite that, his curious eyes never wavered, and his hand stayed as it was on the arm with no more prompting from the elder male.

That, above all, was why Beyond had taken him.

He had the marking to be great, just like him. They were one in the same, and Beyond would guide the child to his true potential.

"See, Lawli?" He whispered, "I can amount to something far greater than you and your establishment."

-Cut-

**AN**: so i am a little late... got sick. but still close enough to count as "today? right?

**Review?**


	3. Cold

**Suggested Listening**: The Weight of Love **by** Snow Patrol

-Cold-

It was not so bad. Living with the murderer.

Mihael rolled onto his side, head pillowed in the crook of his elbow. He was under no illusions of what the raven haired man named Beyond Birthday was. And if there had been any, they were all gone after all the bodies he had seen, and been made to touch, and appreciate for their artistic beauty.

He wondered who his _teacher_ was doing this for.

Oh, he knew Beyond enjoyed every minute of what he did—though he had not let him see anything more than the aftermath so far—but he always muttered a name. Similar to lollipop. What was it, Lawli?

Mihael wondered who that person was to Beyond. And if he would have to beat them some day. After all, he had been chosen by Beyond and he did not want to be discarded. He would fight to stay where he was.

He had nowhere else to go.

And maybe..he kind of liked it. When the bodies were brought home.

They fascinated him. He had long since gotten over the stage where he poked and explored his own body, it was living and it was his and he could feel every touch. Nothing spectacular. But to feel the cold rigid flesh of another body? It was interesting. It was new.

"Mihael?" Beyond was hunched in the doorway, white t-shirt speckled with blood and a hand print or two. He had been gone for almost a day now. Mihael had..almost missed him.

"I brought you home a special surprise today. Hurry before it gets cold."

That was all the prompting he needed to uncurl from the bed, stretch and hop to the floor, trotting over to the older male.

"I believe you need a haircut after this." Beyond said speculatively, picking at a strand of gold hair before letting it flop down.

Mihael cocked his head to the side at the odd statement, and when his hair, now just passed his shoulders, got into his eyes, he realized that perhaps it was an accurate statement.

"Ok, but after?" He asked hopefully. Whenever Beyond brought home a treat, it meant he would see another body, sometimes bloody, sometimes not.

"Yes. After. Now, you will start your real training." Beyond said as he led him to one of the special sound proof rooms. It had a heavy door and even a lock on it. Nothing would go in or out without the right tools.

A body was strapped to the table, odd in itself, and stripped save for the undergarments. The head turned and Mihael gasped as the doors closed behind them.

The body was alive!

"You sick bastard! You took a child!" The body screamed. It had long pretty red hair, but the eyes were a dark soulless color.

He glanced at Beyond for a moment before cautiously approaching the body. He had only dealt with cold, still, dead things so far. This was alive, and though bleeding, did not appear to be in danger of expiring soon.

What would be happening today? Would he...get to watch? The thought both terrified and excited him.

"Mihael." Beyond's voice commanded his attention, and as he looked over, a scalpel was presented. He knew they were not Beyond's choice. Said they were for surgeons or beginners.

With no hesitation, he took the scalpel.

He returned his gaze to the body, and it screamed.

-Calculations-

**Special thanks to reviewers**: Amour en Rayures, Freekness and MelMat (who tells me in person)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

Review?


	4. Test

-Test-

"I am done," the boy looked away from the computer screen long enough to ensure he had his fathers attention before saving what he had done. The raven haired man leaned over from his precarious "seated" position to view his work.

"You finished approximately five point two seconds faster than last time. Congratulations."

Mail beamed as his father praised him. He wanted to do good for him. The better he was, the harder the schooling became. But that was alright by him, he liked to beat his previous scores too.

He was bored with the regular studies that Mr. Whammy and Roger set him up with, and often doodled or fidgeted so much that they had him tested for some disorder or another. But what father gave him to do with the computers, he really enjoyed.

Ever since he had laid eyes on one of those machines he had been fascinated.

"I will have Quillsh allow you more access to the computers. You do well on your other studies when your mind is engaged properly," with that said, his father stood, hands in his pockets and bare toes flexing in the plush carpet.

Mail's smile faded a little. That meant he would be left alone again with only the company of the two aging men.

"I have work to do. I will be gone a while this time."

The only time he ever really spent with his father was in this room, surrounded by computers and being tested. He loved computers even more for that reason; they connected them when nothing else seemed able to.

"Can you stay longer, father?" He pleaded.

"No. My work is important."

Mail's lip trembled and he launched himself at the man, hugging his waist tight. "Don't go."

"Mail..." His father sighed and he clung tighter. He hated when his father left. Hated, hated _hated_-

"Mail, I have to go. Please stay on track until I return." His father pried his smaller limbs from around him, and set him on the couch. His eyes watered and he noted the odd look in those wide dark eyes. Was he being bad somehow, for missing him?

His father sighed and was greeted outside the room by Mr. Whammy.

"L, are you leaving already?"

Mail stopped listening. Father never spent much time with him. He would have to get better and prove to him he was worth it.

L glanced back, just once, before the door was shut and their hushed voices could no longer be heard.

Just once, he wished they would pretend he mattered.

-Score-

**AN**: were you expecting this? and is everything as it seems? hehe

**Special thanks to reviewers**:Amour en Rayures, Keono, Deadly Nightshade1395, MelMat

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

**Review?**


	5. Tame

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

**Suggested Listening**: Forever or Never **by** Cinema Bizarre

-Tame-

He watched with his head cocked to the side, eyes zeroed in on every minute detail before him. The way the hands shook, and gripped the cold steel as if it were a weapon rather than an instrument of beauty, and the dilated pupils.

For a first time, with no experience, Mihael was doing rather well.

"That is enough." He muttered softly, going out to remove the scalpel from the blood coated hands. Wide blue eyes looked up at him. Fear was visible where it had not been before.

Beyond smiled widely. The fear was not for what he had done. Or of any repercussions. The fear, was of failing, of not preforming well. Mihael truly was a wondrous child.

"Always take time to appreciate. Remember what I taught you." He ruffled the boys golden hair and noticed the immediate relief as he realized he was not being reprimanded. Beyond would need to curtail that personality flaw before it became a wide gaping canyon. Seeking praise was natural, however it was easy to let it become an obsession.

While Beyond all but encouraged obsessions, the ones that controlled you should be discarded. Mihael's thirst for knowledge, as well as the drive to improve, would be assets once he was grown and ready.

Mihael brushed his bangs back, blood darkening the strands almost immediately, and it did not appear he noticed now that his eyes were on the woman once more.

He had not hesitated in making the first cuts, though they had been shallow. The woman had been in disbelief. A child, cutting her with a scalpel? No. Could not happen. She had raged at Beyond, claiming brainwashing or threatening as the reason.

With each reaction he received, Mihael became bolder, and in turn the woman realized he would not stop and began struggling, screaming, pleading. It was brilliant.

Mihael, would be brilliant.

And together, they would tear Lawliet down from his pedestal.

"Beyond?" Mihael asked quietly.

His gaze flickered down to the boy who held an unreadable expression.

"When can I move up?" Mihael motioned to the scalpel, "I don't like how it feels."

Beyond let his smirk grow sinister. Oh yes, this boy, so small and frail seeming for his age, was the perfect protege. He had made the right decision in offering his hand to him.

"After we clean up our mess—you know how important it is to do—and ourselves, I will take you to where I keep all of my goodies. If you can not find something to catch your eye there we can shop around." He watched Mihael's expression light up.

"Do remember that you are young and that what you choose now may not be what you end up with." Beyond warned. Himself included. He was a man of experimentation. He had no constant except the lack of one. It fit his ever changing moods.

Mihael, well only time would tell what he would have.

-Vice-

**AN**: So i have been busy at work, and sick and yeah... But i'm working on more parts of this and editing Radio Nowhere :)

**review?**


	6. Can

**Suggested Listening: **The Dark House **by **Lunic

**-Can-**

"-and you are certain this is the perpetrator? We can't arrest someone on hearsay alone."

L stared blankly at the face on conference call. He could see them, and of course all they could see was the lit up Gothic "L" that was his alias. Why was he forced to reason with idiots? They never listened and wasted time on trivial matters when the case could have been closed already.

"I am certain." He reiterated. Percentages only confused this man, and L had to remind himself of that fact more than once. How he had become police chief was a mystery L very much doubted even he could solve.

At the very least, there had been pockets lined with money, along with a grievous error in judgement.

"I will send men out to make the arrest. Thank you, L." The man prattled on for a moment longer before L was able to end the call. He crushed a panda cookie between his fingers and tossed the contents aside. Simpletons.

L swiveled his chair so that he could reach the platter with the sugared strawberries. He needed a boost after all the lag. Watari had left moments before to refill the sugar cubes and would bring other confections back with him. A steady stream of sugar was good for the mind.

Even so, L's mind wandered to another problem.

That being Mail.

The boy was beginning to be a problem. Mail yearned too much for his attention. It was unnecessary to complete any assignments and L could not fathom the need for it. In fact, it only seemed to distress Mail.

His work always suffered for a week or two after his departure.

He had told the boy his work would take him far and would be a while before his return. The truth? He still resided in Whammys, just in the abandoned wing. No one was allowed there after the incident when he was a teenager.

L still held the scars as a reminder.

Watari retrieved all the necessities he required for his work, and no one was the wiser that his departure had been staged. Mail needed focus, and he was a distraction. For the foreseeable future he would remain absent.

There were other children, of lesser importance, inside the walls of Whammys House, and if needed Mail could socialize with them.

Everything had already been decided.

"L. I have brought what you requested." Watari, though placing a bowl of sugar cubes down on the tray, was not speaking of them. There was a folder placed alongside the sweets, and that was what L reached for.

Beyond had been quiet as of late, and that, above all else, caused L discontent.

-**Not-**

**AN**: wording, wording, wording :D Only hint I shall give hahaha.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

Review?


	7. Time

**Suggested Listening**: Only You** by** Ellie Goulding

-Time-

Mihael turned the heavy object over in his hands; hands still too small. He would need a more compact version of this, and the other item he had picked out. Regardless of being unable to use them until he grew, they had called to him and he would not change his mind. The beautiful craftsmanship, sleek lines and a very recognizable threat. Perhaps too simple a choice to most, they suited him just fine.

It was not how big, or expensive, or extravagant the tool, but how one used it, that made it beautiful, deadly and effective.

He was learning quite a bit, and so fast, since Beyond had taken him in. The subtle, and less theatrical ways of killing something. Ways to prepare the body, and even—Mihael grinned—gearing him up for an outing. A real outing where he could use his skills in the field.

In fact, the raven haired man had hinted, with a grin, that when he was a little older there were other things he would teach him to enjoy. Not only teach, but_ enjoy_.

Mihael was uncertain what he meant, though doubted he would not enjoy it. Beyond was always right.

That was not to say there had not been disagreements between them yet. Mihael made certain his views were expressed, regardless of the outcome.

With a small sigh, Mihael set down the newly polished Beretta, and stared over at the blade he had also chosen. He would never use so many things as Beyond did, but he did not want to limit himself to only the gun. Sure, there were things one could do other than simply shooting someone, but with a blade, even more possibilities were opened. He had, after all, enjoyed cutting that body.

He closed his eyes with a longing smile. He really could not wait to see what Beyond would teach him. Hopefully his upcoming birthday—five months almost exactly—would make him old enough. If not, he could probably weasel something equally good from him, a new technique or help on whatever he did for a living. There had to be something else, for they seemed to have an endless supply of money.

Mihael did not really care one way or anther. He would eventually be told some of the secrets Beyond held, if for no other reason that there was no one else to tell them to.

With that thought in mind, Mihael cleared the table of his weapon choices, and carefully stored them in the safe Beyond have given to him.

With a quiet yawn, he padded across the room and crawled into the bed. He was always bored when Beyond was out. With nothing else to occupy him, Mihael rolled over, curled in the comforter, to sleep until entertainment showed itself again.

-Flow-

**AN**: so with this chapter out, i will tell you that the plot became something larger than i had originally envisioned, and that the scenes should become longer as it progresses :)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

**Review?**


	8. No

**Disclaimer: **I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

**Suggested Listening**: Labrador **by** Aimee Mann (it is HARD to find the song. If I had the time i would put it on youtube for you...then again its been 3 weeks so maybe its there? idk If anything, lyrics :D)

**-No-**

He glanced quickly at the second monitor with his fingers still typing frantically on the first ones keyboard. He needed to be faster. Do more. Be _better_.

"Mail-"

If he could do these things, all of them, maybe more, then perhaps father would return soon.

"_Mail_-"

His thumb slipped and pressed the space bar instead of the "B" key and a loud warning beep sounded. He bit his lip and for the third time in an hour, needed to fix the code. He was useless.

"Enough, Mail." Mr. Whammy slammed the laptops screen down, effectively cutting off the line of code he had been doing, and in the process deleting all the work he had spent _hours_ on.

Mail felt sick.

Terribly, horribly _sick. _

"No..you just, you can't.." He stared at the wrinkled hand and for a quiet moment, felt like crying.

"You are too young for this, and I have told L as much. The long hours you spend will not benefit you." Mr. Whammy sighed heavily. "I see you have not touched your food either times you were asked to. Now you will eat in the dining hall for every meal until further notice."

Mail looked up, mouth agape and ready to protest—he did not have _time_ for that, he needed to present something great, something epic, to father.

"If you miss one single meal, you will be made to eat under supervision. Am I clear?" Mr. Whammy's voice was firm, unwavering.

Mail nodded in defeat, feeling the tears prickling at his eyes, yet stubbornly refusing to let them become more. Father never cried. Father...never expressed much of anything. Mail wished to be like him.

"Mail, am I clear?" Kind, yet firm eyes bore into his own. He could not lie with his eyes so out in the open. Maybe that was why father was staying away. He was too easy to read.

"Yes, sir." He murmured meekly. And he rolled over too easily, like a pet.

"Alright then, follow me. You will eat dinner with the rest of Whammys House for a change, and then you will have one hour before bed. No more computers tonight." Mr. Whammy wore a stern, thin lipped expression that Mail, through experience, knew not to disobey.

With clenched fists, he followed.

If he could not get his own expressions under control...then perhaps he could hide them? Bury them under glasses or a hat, something that covered his eyes. The window to his soul was too far open, and maybe only until he had closed it, father would stay away.

He could do it.

He _would_ do it.

He would become the son that L wanted.

**-Skill-**

**AN**: Work all week, still another day. I have a few more parts of this written, just had no time to post :p.

**Review?**


	9. Lost

**Suggested Listening:** I Hate Love **by **Garbage

-Lost-

"Hey sweetie, are you lost?" The woman—dark skinned, dark eyes, dark hair—bent down to ask him. He appeared a lot younger than he actually was. It helped his task.

"I took a wrong turn...I can't find my parents." Mihael pushed his lips into a pout and stared at her with big doe eyes.

She did not waver even for a second and took the bait.

"It will be alright. I will help you find them, or someone who can. OK?" She patted him on the shoulder and he relaxed the pout into a tiny, uncertain smile. Her worried expression turned into a sincere smile and she took his hand, asking what they looked like.

He had been practicing in the mirror, watching how his face moved with each expression. He still had problems not letting his anger show, however Beyond deemed him street worthy. And that was why, on that chilly night in October, he was leading this operation. He was the bait. He was the hook that would snag her.

He would be her killer.

"Are you certain you came this way? It seems a little.." The woman, her heals making a clacking sound on the pavement, trailed off to look a few feet ahead to the alley way. He nodded frantically, clutching her hand tighter. God, how he hated acting like such a _child_.

"We came from that store," Mihael pointed down the street, "And were walking. I stopped to tied my shoe right here, and when I looked up they were gone." He made his voice waver, though it only sounded hoarse. He would need to work on that.

"Alright, we can look around here." The woman took cautious steps closer to the alley and when close enough, Mihael let her hand go and bolted into the darkness. It was a calculated risk, but he knew, from those few moments with her, that she would follow.

"Wait! Don't go in there without me-" her heals echoed off the walls more than her voice did, and Mihael smirked as he counted the steps. Four, three, two-

"There you are, sweetie you can't run off like that. There are bad people in the world. Now let's go find a police officer who can help." She held out her hand patiently. People like her...were stupid.

A pair of arms reached out from the darkness, a hand to cover her mouth, and one around her waist holding her in place. She screamed, though it was muffled.

Mello reached into his jacket and pulled free his knife—an identical smaller one in the other pocket, as suggested by Beyond, stayed where it was. She stared at him with wide, horrified eyes. Her skirt rode up, crinkled by the way Beyond held her against him.

He hesitated. Only for a moment.

Then he lunged forward.

The goal that night was not only the lure, but the act. He had to familiarize himself with killing. He could not freeze on his own. He was only a student. He was, as he hated to admit, still a child in the laws eyes. He had still not even reached eleven years.

Blood ran hot and sticky over his fingers, as did Beyond's cackle into his ears. Being in the lab, with the body strapped down, was different. Was controlled. This was, different.

The woman squired wildly, screaming into Beyond's hand madly.

Mihael stabbed her again, going for the spot Beyond had taught him too, the one that made the blood gush freely. For the life of him, Mihael could not remember the name now.

He should be taking this slowly. Savoring the moment. Creating something beautiful.

But all Mihael could do as he watched her struggling pause and stop, eyes closing halfway as she slumped forward, was turn his head and puke.

For long moments all he could see was spots, black spheres dancing across his vision and mind until all other sounds in the alley were silenced. He was forced to look up as sticky fingers pushed his chin.

"You behaved exactly as I expected you to." Beyond's thumb gently caressed his cheek and his stomach bottomed out. He had been expected to fail?

"The next outing you will plan. And do on your own. I will only step in If you are in danger." Beyond's hand dropped away and he ambled further into the alley, dragging the woman with him.

Mihael stare into the darkness of a long moment, unsmiling, before following with jerky motions. They had cleanup to do.

-Soul-

**AN**: Soooo how is everyone liking this? :D More hints. And do pay attention to the ages, because they do jump from chapter to chapter otherwise we would never get to the good stuff hahaha. i may not always come out and say "he is such and such age"

Review?


	10. A

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or make money from the anime death note.

-A-

Mail sat at the table, staring at the blank screen with no emotion crossing his features. He was uncertain how he should feel. Or react.

Should he react at all?

He adjusted his goggles—green ones he had found in an outing to the city—and turned away.

Whammy gave him a troubled glance, yet thankfully remained silent. After all, what could he say?

Today was Mail's birthday. He turned twelve.

Today, Mail died.

He was to be called Matt now.

He was to become L's asset, to train as his double, his field asset on cases. At one time, Mail—Matt, might have jumped at the idea. Only...

Today was his birthday, and father had not mentioned it. Not once.

His gift, was a pseudonym.

"Mr. Whammy, what does father wish for me to learn first?" He asked blandly. If this was what father wished, then he would do it. Somewhere, somehow, he still held hope that he would be acknowledged.

"Mail-"

"Matt. Please remember that Mr. Whammy." Business. That's all it was. And would be.

"Defense. As well as..." Mr. Whammy trailed off and Matt knew the answer on his own. Interrogation tactics. Should he be taken captive, L needed to be certain he would not break.

"We should get started." He stood from the chair, shut the laptop down, and stared up at the elderly man. He noted the sadness in those eyes, and wondered if he ever looked at L the same way.

Somehow, Matt did not think it mattered.

-Pseudonym-

**AN**: I now have up to 17 written and will be posting again this week, wrote 11-17 last night XD


	11. Lesson

-Lesson-

Beyond did not bother to hide a smirk as Mihael once more ran the length of the room for some paper or scrap of information he believed he needed. He was taking his planning far more seriously than needed. There was cautious, and then there was obsessive.

He had passed the border into the latter a long while ago.

He knew exactly what was going on in the boys mind: _I need to do better. I can not fail. I will _not_ fail. I _will_ be the best-_

Or something along those lines.

Beyond wanted to see exactly where his mindset would take him. He rather hoped it would not be to jail, but one could never be certain. He would allow this level of fanaticism this once, even if it worked, or didn't, and then point out each and _every_ flaw that occurred because of it. He would beat out some of that obsessive behavior.

A little was good.

After all, he was obsessed with Jam.

And Jam was good. Especially with a little blood additive.

That was besides the point.

He reclined in the chair, eyes trained on Mihael, wondering how long it would take him to realize all the planning in the world could not plan for the human variable. A person in a cafe across the street with a cell phone recording you. The police randomly stopping you. The person closest to you sabotaging everything..

Mihael would learn one way or the other.

And Beyond was not above teaching him.

-Plan-

**AN**: sooooo any ideas as to what will happen to our boys?


	12. Purge

**AN:** Sorry for the late posting

-Purge-

Matt had no idea how it had come to this.

Day in and day out. This moratorium of life. He might have enjoyed his craft if things had gone differently. Now he was simply tired. Inexperienced, and tired. He listlessly ate the oatmeal that had been prepared for him and wondered if it was supposed to taste so utterly_ bland_.

All food tasted bland.

And well, that was the food that stayed down.

He took more heaping mouthfuls and showed the bowl theatrically to the cook when he was done and left it in the sink to be taken care of. If they were going to treat him as a baby then why should he even attempt to clean up after himself?

As he walked down the hallway away from the dining hall he could already feel it. That twinge in his belly, the one that signaled the onset of pain. He resisted rubbing the slowly souring area however, in case he were being watched.

Instead of going to his room he turned left and snuck out the door adjacent to the one in the main entrance. He took off running. He made it about fifteen feet before nearly doubling over. This time he did rub his stomach.

He had first theorized it was rebellion, or perhaps stress, but now—bent over and purging the contents of his stomach into the grass—he knew it was more. Perhaps an allergy. Perhaps a mental condition.

All Matt knew was that he always felt better after.

With shaky breath, Matt spit into the grass a few times to clear his mouth. He would have to brush his teeth a few times to get the horrid taste of bile out of his mouth. It was a small price for privacy. He thought of telling Mr. Wammy. More than a few times. He just could not bring himself to be any more weak and needy than he already was.

And if Mr. Wammy knew, then so would father.

So he straightened up, fixed his rumbled shirt, and headed back inside like nothing had happened.

-Problem-


	13. Still

**Disclaimer:** I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

-Still-

_Yes yes yes yes yes_-

Mihael stared down at the body—a beautifully sculpted teen only a few years older than himself—no longer tied up with wire and tape. Instead they were coated in blood, eyes closed in eternal life and body positioned like the man that had always been on his mama's rosary. It was poetic in a way.

"You did well." Beyond told him over the intercom. It startled him. He had forgotten, in his joy, that the elder man had been watching the entire time. In fact, had never once left him alone despite staying completely and totally in the shadows.

There had been a moment when he had believed he would need Beyond to step in—a harsh blow to his confidence to realize—yet the situation had handled itself. It was something he knew Beyond would speak to him about once he had calmed down from his high.

It was so easy, and so addicting, to end a life. To watch their eyes stare vacantly at you after they had expired and you were left to view them in all their beauty. It was enthralling. Intoxicating...and it did things to his body he could not explain.

Mihael looked over at the two way mirror and a light flicked on behind as Beyond allowed himself to be seen. He shivered at the manic grin staring back at him. There was always something in that smile that had him weary lately, perhaps always.

He had no idea what it was, or what it would mean for him. If perhaps he was the best game of all—a prey that would know every single trick he did, and what was going to happen, should of course, Beyond ever decide he was going to kill him too.

"You think too much," Beyond told him and Mihael realized he had been staring.

"One can never think too much." He retorted, crossing his arms and vaguely realizing he had smeared blood all over himself.

"You did well tonight, but you will learn that not all plans work how you want them. Variables, Mihael, are not always your friend in this business." Beyond's tone turned cool and Mihael knew to nod and not say another word. He knew it was about a past that was still very much secret—and very much off limits. He would earn that trust one day, but until then he remained quiet.

"Clean up and I will meet you in the kitchen with tea to discuss your work." Beyond told him and the other room faded out of view.

With a soft sigh he turned his gaze back to the body. Brown hair matted down with blood, and vibrant blue eyes. He was beautiful.

It was time to discard him and find something else just as tantalizing.

-Eyes-


	14. Close

-Listen-

Beyond shook his head as he spotted yet another fleck of blood in the bathroom—this one leading out of the shower. He had told Mihael numerous times to make everything spotless. There was no telling when they would have to leave, and the less evidence left to suspect them of anything the better. Mihael was still young, and with that youth came the penchant for absentmindedness. In what they did, could mean more than a verbal slap. And more than simple jail. Mihael had yet to learn this. Using bleach, Beyond cleaned the entire bathroom as it should have been done the first time. He bagged and discarded the items used for cleaning and intended to destroy them after a small talk with his charge.

Mihael's bedroom door was closed and his light was off, which in and of itself was strange. He was always too wound up to sleep after an outing—this having been his sixth by himself. He approached cautiously, yet a knife had been produced from within the lining of his jeans.

He paused, ear pressed to the door for sounds of struggle.

After a moment, his lax expression turned sinister.

Soft, huffy breaths and nonsensical words carried through the closed door, along with creaking only the bed could make. So he was finally at_ that _age?

The knife went away and Beyond relaxed his posture as he leaned against the wall, eyes closed. The next few months would decide a lot of things about the future Mihael would have. Some of them good—Beyond grinned—some of them better.

He pushed away from the wall without a sound a few moments later.

Beyond knew, without a shadow of doubt, exactly how everything would play out.

-Close-


	15. Lines

**Suggested Listening**: Goodbye California **by** Billy the Kid

**-Battle-**

"L, you need to speak with the boy!" Quillsh shouted, making L turn his head. He never raised his voice to anyone, much less L. It had the desired effect of capturing his attention.

"What exactly do you wish for me to do? He does not need to be coddled. That is what created the situation in the first place." L sighed in that frustrated manner that suggested he was dealing with an intellectual heathen. Quillsh knew then that he should have taken more care in raising the boy that L had been. He could not fix that mistake, but he could with Mail before he became another ruined soul of the institution.

"This is the fourth time this week I have found him passed out across his laptop. It is not healthy when you do it, and most certainly not for a boy his age." Quillsh rarely found himself as angered as he was. But that boy, who had already been handed a horrible fate, did not need to suffer more for it.

L turned his wide dark eyes to him, just visible under his too long fringe—the fatherly part of Quillsh already filing away that it needed to be cut—with an utmost bored expression. "He is almost fourteen. Matt is hardly a boy."

"Be that as it may," Quillsh set the tray of sweats down hard and the sugar cubes went flying, "He is a child in the eyes of the law regardless of how little you pay attention to them. He is grossly underweight and hardly sleeps. Enough is enough, _Lawliet._"

L's eyes narrowed at him, thumb going to the corner of his mouth to bite in irritation, and though Quillsh knew he had crossed a line, he cared little.

Mail should never have been treated as he was, nor allowed to deteriorate so badly. Despite forcing the boy to go to meals for the last few years, he still managed to slip far below what was healthy. Mail had such wondrous potential, and Quillsh had to wonder if he would ever fully grow into it simply because of all the lies told to him, that had begun to shape him. It saddened the aging man greatly.

"Matt is and has been of age to properly choose what and how he wants to spend his time on. If he feels the need to be working so hard on his studies then I applaud him. If I decide to speak with him it will be to give him harder and more complex assignments. Is that satisfactory?" L stared up at him in clear defiance.

Never before had Quillsh felt the lines so clearly drawn on an issue. The room, and tension, was freezing.

"I see. You may get your own cake tonight. I will see you in the morning." He bowed to L and turned heal to the door.

He slammed it none to gently behind him.

If L wished to act on his own, regardless of the consequences, then so would he. Quillsh may have created that monster, but he had every right to destroy it as well.

Mail would not become a casualty. No matter what he had to do to prevent it.

**-Lines-**

**an**: and here, is where you will really start to see the little lines of plot easing themselves into this fic :D

I also want to thank everyone who has reviewed, and to apologize for how lazy i have been in posting this.

.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note


	16. Abyss

**Suggested Listening**: Night of the Hunter **by** 30 Seconds to Mars

~**Into**~

Mihael could not look away as Beyond added blood into the jar he made jam with. It all made a horrid sort of sense now. Why his lips, fingers and tongue were always so vividly red after he ate the fruit spread. His stomach turned at the thought.

Killing, making art, was one thing, but to _eat _that art?

He made a face that Beyond caught.

"I never said you had to eat it did I?" Beyond was very clearly amused, as he purposely added more blood and swirled it around, coating the jar. Mihael may have like the look and feel of blood on him, but he did not want to eat it.

"No..." He grumbled, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"Stop being petulant. Especially when I know what _you_ like to do with blood." Beyond stared levelly at him. Mihael flushed, heat going straight to his face.

"You may want to stop being so obvious, as in shutting your light when I know all too well you are not sleeping." Beyond sucked the blood from his fingers, and though Mihael was mortified by the situation, he could not take his eyes from Beyond.

It was true...he did like to do things with blood. Run it over his fingers. Across his thighs. Across his-

"How do you know you don't like the taste if you have never had it?" Beyond suddenly asked him. As to how Beyond had known he never once—even with his fascination with the look and feel—taken a taste, was a mystery.

"I don't." He said.

Beyond stood from the table and opened the pantry to produce a recently made jar, filled with jam and blood. The seal was popped and a bony finger was jabbed inside to produce some of the sticky substance. Beyond approached him, reaching out to smear the jam on his lips.

His first reaction was to wipe it off, yet the look given to him made his hand pause halfway. Instead he flicked his tongue out to taste. It was cloyingly sweet. Spicy and had a little metallic tang to it.

"Not bad I guess." He licked the rest from his lips regardless.

"I will teach you to try new things. If you accept." Beyond screwed the lid on and turned to place the jar in the refrigerator.

There was subtext going on, and Mihael was running through every possible meaning it could have. The entire conversation, upon review, had been staged after a certain point. He swallowed harshly. Beyond had known what he would do, even if a gentle push was needed for it to begin.

Yet the other half of his mind, the one not inherently suspicions, latched onto what had been said.

"Does that mean I am old enough to be taught now?" Mihael blurted out. He had wanted, craved, to know just what was hiding in the recesses of that mans mind. He wanted everything.

"You are." Beyond gave him a wide smirk, head cocked to the side. He made no motion to beckon him, and yet as he left the room, Mihael followed. He was led to the study that was connected to Beyond's room.

He was suddenly nervous—the conversation flashing through his mind again and again. Why would he mention that-

"If you walk through this door with me, you are giving your consent to whatever I will teach you. Do you really want to do this?" Beyond stood far into the room by the bed, and though Mihael had a good—no, great—idea of what he would be learning, his pride would not allow him to back down now. As well, perhaps, his curiosity.

With a steadying breath, he walked into the room and the door shut behind him.

~**abyss**~

**AN:** :D

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make any money from the anime Death Note

Review?


	17. Conviction

**Disclaimer**: i do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

**Suggested Listening**: After the War **by** Young Guns

-..-

Water cushioned his ears. Too concentrated to be rain, yet comforting just the same.

His hair hung in wet clumps from his tilted head, tickling his nose and chin. He could not bring himself to care—or perhaps did not dare move his arms from their flat palmed position on the wet tiled wall of the shower. He was hunched, arms stretched to keep balance, with his feet braced on the insides of the tub.

He watched as more blood washed down the drain and closed his eyes tight, willing the image away.

Willing _everything_ away.

His left leg buckled and he nearly screamed as he feel to his knees, but a hand clamped over his mouth kept him quiet. His pride—goddamn _pride_—would not allow him any more shame. He had suspected what would be happening. And given permission anyway. He was so fucking_ stupid_.

He dared not move again, shaking under the cooling spray with his stomach rolling uncertainly. Pain...was not something he was accustomed to. Not like this. He was..it was...could not be explained. He squeezed his eyes closed tighter and took a steadying breath.

Fuck this.

Fuck his pride.

Fuck...fuck Beyond.

He slammed his fist on the wall. He would not be beat by this. Could not be.

No matter the motives, or the sickness behind it, Beyond had taught him something. Maybe what he had always intended to. Things do not always go as planned.

He scraped his nails against the tiles and forced himself to stand. He blindly grabbed for the soap and dragged it across his body.

Beyond had not been gentle—and Mihael had no idea why the thought had been there. He had not been overly cruel, but most certainly not gentle. Mihael hated him as much as he revered him. He hated...that he was torn. In so many ways.

He had been right, in a way. This was a game—as well as a lesson.

He slowly opened his eyes, vision foggy, and huffed out a choked laugh.

And damn if he wouldn't win it.

-**conviction**-

.

**AN**: :D

.

**Review?**


	18. Deal

Disclaimer: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note

-Deal-

Matt could remember the exact moment that he picked up smoking.

It had been the year before around the same time, when the weather had turned colder than usual and fall was but a mere memory. He had come out there for an escape, as none of the others—children or staff—would be out in the cold.

He, of course, had been wrong.

The oldest of Wammys, and one who was close to the bottom of the study rankings, had been smoking. Matt had seen him in passing a few times. They had never spoken. Yet that day, the teen had looked him up and down, then asked if he wanted a smoke.

Unsure as to what to do, Matt took it.

There had been no immediate liking to them. In fact, hacking and spitting had been involved. The older teen had laughed, given him a few pointers and gone back inside. Matt had fully intended to never attempt to smoke those foul things again...but the next time he snuck outside he remembered how at ease the other teen had been.

Now on the flip-side of the year, he was addicted and bumming them off anyone he could—or stealing one or two from the staff who smoked. There were only two: the cooks assistant and the librarian. Though Matt preferred the brand the cook had. The librarians had clove in them. He always ended up coughing blood after one of hers.

Ironically, that was the one he had now.

He could already feel the film growing the back of his throat, along with the almost sore feeling. He wondered if it had anything to do with the clove, or perhaps the strength of the brand. He never bothered to look it up, and doubted he would until he could leave the building to buy what he pleased. What would the point have been?

Matt glanced up as the door beside him was wedged open, and he almost expected that same teen to silently greet him despite having "graduated"-another Wammy House loving term for too old and kicked out- a few months ago. Instead, Matt locked eyes with the one person outside of Roger he did not want to see.

"Shit." He sighed and took one last drag as a hand reached out to grab the cigarette from his lips.

"Indeed, Mail." Mr. Wammy said with a deep frown.

_Kiss free time goodbye_, he thought to himself, _good job_.

Matt's jaw dropped as Mr. Wammy took a drag, looking the long stick over before passing it back to him. "You may want to be careful who you take from, Mail. Loren was mentioning how she will be writing down how many she smokes a day now."

Mr. Wammy gave a tired smile and added, "There are far better brands than what she partakes in."

"What?" Matt stared. That was all he could do.

This wasn't really happening was it? Shouldn't he be in trouble by now?

"I have realized that as a caretaker I have failed you many a times and for that I am truly sorry." Mr. Wammy's gaze was far off, as though he were speaking about more than the present. In that moment, he looked his age, perhaps older.

"If," he stressed, "I allow you to continue to smoke, I want you to listen to me when I ask that you take a breather. You are far too young to be as malnourished and unhealthy appearing as you are."

Matt met those kind eyes—this time filled with a spark of determination.

"I know you want to emulate and impress _L_, but dying is not the way to do it." Mr. Wammy told him fiercely. The way he said "L" was almost a curse and Matt had never heard him speak of his father in that manner. Lately, he had taken to not even mentioning him as "your father". It bothered Matt.

"So what will your answer be?" Mr. Wammy prompted.

"I, uh.." Matt stumbled. The entire conversation was weird. There were so many things Mr. Wammy could have asked for, and with him apologizing for failing him, it threw Matt off balance a little.

"Alright." He muttered. Was there anything else to say? He was really not too attached to the cigarettes, but there was just something in Matt that could not say no to the old weathered man before him. He knew he would regret it once Mr. Wammy was back to normal.

"Very good." Wammy nodded approvingly and opened the door to head inside, "Oh and Mail, if there is anything you need to tell me, anything at all, I will always listen and help if it is in my power." With those parting words he was gone.

Matt was left to stand in the cold, cigarette burning to embers between his fingers, utterly shocked.

**-Deal**-

**AN**: finally, some hints at the inner workings of plot for Matt's part :D

A thank you to everyone who has reviewed thus far, really.

.

**Review?**


	19. Rival

Disclaimer: I do not own or make any money from the anime Death Note

-**Rival**-

L had noted the change in Matt over the past few weeks. He completed less assignments, however, he answered them more proficiently. There was a better understanding there than before, and no matter how L looked at the facts, they simply did not add up. It was such a vast improvement in such a short time that it seemed fixed, falsified in some way.

At the same time he knew Matt would never do that. Not because he had any sort of faith in the teen, but simply put, it was not in matt to disobey or disappoint him. And cheating, would be a major disappointment.

So L scrutinized each and every word, line by line for some sort of answer to his questions. None forthcoming, he turned to ask Quillsh only to find him absent again.

He was absent quite a bit lately. It sent his annoyance levels soaring. Quillsh was Watari, and as such was to cater to him. He glanced down at the empty plate of sweets and glared. How was he to concentrate with nothing to nourish and sustain him?

With a frustrated sigh L slid from the chair and into a slouch. He would be forced to brave the halls of Wammys in broad daylight if he wanted something from the kitchens. There was no telling when Quillsh would return.

By some stroke of luck classes were still in session—by his estimate three minutes longer than they should have been—and he was free of any pests. He casually passed by the common room and paused, rather interestedly, as his attentions rested on a familiar mop of rust-red hair. Matt, and the new boy Quillsh had brought there recently, were seated in a game of chess.

His eyes followed the moves, all the time and care taken before their fingers even reached for a pawn. They were pushing each other to think better and faster. And for once, L smiled.

Those two, would do well pitted against each other.

The thought occurred to him to mention his budding plans to Quillsh, but with the man acting increasingly odd, L knew it was better to conduct this in private.

Watching them a moment longer, L began to construct an offer that Near could not refuse.

At the end, either Matt or Near would become his best, most prized asset.

-**Rival**-


	20. Amuse

**Disclaimer**: I dont own or make money from the anime Death Note.

-Amuse-

.

Beyond watched with silent amusement as Mihael struggled not to limp in front of him. He was in pain—no way for him not to be—and yet his pride, which had gotten him into the mess in the first place, prevented him from seeking any comfort.

That pride would be his downfall one day if he did not learn from it. And Beyond would make certain he learned. Though, with every more pronounced wince Mihael let show, there may be hope of him learning on his own as to when pride was actually useful.

It came, rather grudgingly, hours later when he was asked if there was anything to help "with this", as Mihael waved in his own general direction. Still, he would not speak of the problem. It really, greatly, amused Beyond.

"Certainly." He grinned, wider, as Mihael's breath hitched when he pressed passed him in the small hallway. Teaching him to use the looks he was so generously blessed with—and was growing into—to obtain the things he wanted, was going to be enjoyable.

As it would also be, when Mihael willingly asked him for more.

And he would, given time.

-Amuse-

.

**an**: short one, which is why i'm posting the next few so close...but after chapter 24 i have to write more hahaha.


End file.
